Job application: Describe why we should hire you in a sentence.
Adrian. 20. College student who loves to procrastinate.
Basically just a tumblr full of reblogged stuff. Includes--but is not limited to--internet stupidity, quotes, teen wolf, community, attractive people, animals, and pokemon.
True love is when your pet comes to your room on its own.
1. Pour out how much you think you need.
Ravenclaws that go through existential crises every other week because of things they’re reading though
- like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE POTIONS HOMEWORK? I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER OTHER MEANS OF TORTURE ARE ACTUALLY MORE ETHICAL THAN THE CRUCIATUS AND IF NOT THEN WHY ARE THEY LEGAL”
- or “I AM CALLING OFF QUIDDITCH PRACTICE TODAY BECAUSE I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHY QUIDDITCH IS DIVIDED BY HOUSES”
- or “I CAN’T GO TO RUNES BECAUSE I AM TOO UPSET ABOUT WITCH HUNTS IN THE MIDDLE AGES; IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE JUST IMAGINE IT”
- or “BUT WHY IS OUR CURRENCY SO ILLOGICAL CAN’T WE FIX IT”
- or “HOW DOES MAGIC GET PASSED DOWN BUT THEN ALSO APPEAR AT RANDOM NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN IT IS IT IN OUR BODIES OR IN OUR MINDS OR WHAT” (just calm down and come to transfiguration okay) “I WILL NOT CALM DOWN AND I WILL NOT COME TO TRANSFIGURATION”
- "IF YOU VANISH A THING AND CONJURE IT AGAIN IS IT THE SAME MATTER" "IS IT THE SAME ESSENCE" (it’s okay. just vanish the pincushion) "IT’S NOT OKAY"
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.